Only an Hour
by Ilovedesserts
Summary: Rusty visits Dr. Joe's office for his first session since Joe was shot.
1. Chapter 1

"Rusty! Come on in," Dr. Joe said as he held the door open for Rusty. It had been a long time, too long since the two had a session. Some of that had been due to circumstance, some due to just life. Rusty smiled at Dr. Joe as he entered, looking around at the room he'd come to know so well.

"You're looking a lot better than the last time I saw you," Rusty grinned at Joe. "To be fair, though, those hospital gowns aren't your color."

Joe chuckled at Rusty's joke; the fact Rusty was even joking with Joe showed the tremendous progress the two had made over the years. Rusty continued.

"Before you start, I don't know, shrinking me," he grinned at the weak attempt at a joke, "how are you?"

Joe smiled at him fondly, proud of Rusty for asking about others, "I'm doing okay. It's one day at a time, something I know you've heard me say about addiction and many other things. I'm still in some pain, but I'm alive, and I'm grateful for that. I'm still doing physical therapy, now down to once a week. It's been a long road, but I'm happy to be alive."

Rusty nodded, "I'm happy you're alive too. Such a horrible thing," Rusty sighed.

Joe nodded, "Yes, it was. I'm grateful your mom and others were there that day, even if some didn't make it. It could have been much worse, much, and I must say thank you for all the hospital visits. I know I wasn't always very talkative, but I'm really glad you stopped by to see me so often."

Rusty nodded, "I'm glad I could check on you. It really hit close to home seeing some of my friends, people I've come to know and respect, hurt and even killed. Plus, you know," he shrugged, "I was at the hospital plenty with Andy there, so it was easy to see you-two stops in one visit."

Joe nodded, "Ahh, yes," he put his hand up to his mouth, "how is the lieutenant doing?"

Rusty shrugged, "Back to work, but limited at that. He's like you though-happy to be alive."

Joe smiled and gestured for Rusty to sit, "Sit, let's talk. Tell me what's been going on. It's been way too long. I was out until almost Christmas, and then the holidays, the backlog, I'm sorry it's now March, and we are just getting together now."

Rusty took a deep breath, "Yeah, I get it. I can't complain; you were shot, but it's nice to get back here. It's like you don't realize how good it is to talk to someone until you can't," he gave a slight frown. "I can talk to you like I can't talk to anyone else. I remember years ago, how I fought Sharon about going to therapy, and now, I see how it can help."

"Well, that's progress," Joe offered a small smile. "Tell me, what's going on. Why don't you update me on your life, and we can go from there?"

Rusty took a deep breath, "I'm not sure where to start."

Joe shrugged, "Anywhere."

"Okay, here goes," Rusty took another breath, "I decided to switch majors, going from journalism to pre-law. I want to study family law. I applied and got an internship with Andrea Hobbs in the DA's office, and I follow her around all day. I'm taking a crazy load of classes to catch up on pre-law stuff. I'm still living at home. Gus wanted me to move in with him. I know he loves me, but I couldn't do it. We broke up. We talked after I got some good advice from Mom. We got back together, but I'm still living at home. I need to pay my own way. Speaking of home, we are still at the condo. Mom and Andy couldn't find a house they liked, well, besides that mold house. They were going to look more, but Andy had his heart attack. The fall was spent with Andy in and out of appointments, complaining about his heart attack. Mom's been worried about him like crazy, but he's finally doing better. They are good. Actually, they are great. Mom and Andy just got engaged. I now have a half-sister; she was born awhile ago. I've gone from being an only child who was homeless to having a half-sister, two adopted siblings, and I guess now two step siblings, if that's what they are. I'm not sure because I have an adopted mom and an Andy-what is he exactly to me? Step-dad sounds weird, almost indicating I had a dad, but I didn't, and he's pretty great, even though I tried to be rude to him for a long time. Ahh, I am looking at law school, but I'm torn because I want to go to a good school, but I don't want to be far from Gus, Mom or Andy. I don't even know if I want to move out of the condo for law school. I don't make any money so I can't really afford anywhere else to live. My mom wants me to come visit her and the baby, but I'm not sure. Gus said he'll go with me, but I don't even know how much I want to be involved right now. Oh, my brother Ricky was just here, and that was cool. We've gone from being awkward around each other to getting along. We ganged up on Mom and Andy getting the ball rolling for them to get married. They both needed annulments, and we helped with that. Ricky dealt with Jack, and I talked to Nicole, who prodded her mom. Huh, I guess that's about it," he shrugged, looking at Joe with a very neutral expression.

Joe, who had stopped writing and was just trying to follow the story, took of his glasses and looked to Rusty, "Well, I can see our session was long overdue. Let's get started. We only have an hour," he smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

"You mentioned both of your moms. Why don't you start there? We can talk about either or both of them," Joe suggested.

Rusty sat back, sighing, "I guess start with Sharon Beck. So, she's living outside Palm Springs now with Gary's parents. I guess it's going okay. She calls me about once a month. I have tried to call her, but she doesn't answer, saying she was busy with the baby. I'm just glad she's actually taking care of the baby."

Joe nodded, "Have you seen the baby-a girl, you said?"

Rusty shook his head, "Only in pictures. Get this, she named her Roxie. So, now she has two kids, at least that I know of, named Rusty and Roxie," he shook his head. "Not the name I would pick." Joe smiled slightly. "Gus suggested we take a road trip, to visit both our moms. His mom is in Vegas, so we could see them both on the way. I'm not ready for that."

"Not ready for Gus to see your mom?" Joe asked.

Rusty shook his head, "No, he's met her, and she actually likes him. No, I'm not ready to go see her, see Roxie. Not yet. Sharon told me I know when I'll be ready, to trust my instincts, Sharon, my mom, not Sharon Beck."

Joe chuckled at the statement; of course, Rusty would have two moms, both with the name Sharon.

"Do you think you'll want to be part of Roxie's life?" he asked.

Rusty looked off, "I think so, but I'm not ready yet. It's not her, but it's the idea of getting hurt again by Sharon. We'll see if she can stabilize. I'm trying with her, but it's hard. I afraid to get hurt again; I realize that is one of my issues. I don't want to actually like Roxie and then she just disappears. I'm hoping that as she gets older. I can at least be in contact with her, but it's too early to say. As far as the other Sharon, I want her to stay sober, but she has to do the work. Andy gives me a lot of insight to addiction all the time, and I'm hoping this will help her want to stay sober, you know, having Roxie now. It didn't work when she had me, but I know a lot for her has changed. I hope she can do it this time."

"You mention Andy, the lieutenant a lot, and it's a nice change to hear you call him Andy. Sounds like things are going well with him, with your mom too? Did I hear you say they were engaged?"

Rusty nodded, "Yeah, that's actually been great. I helped Andy with all that. He had all this off the wall idea on how to propose, and in the end, he did a good job. I helped, so did Gus. We setup the balcony at the condo, and he surprised her there. She's really happy, and that's all I want for her. She deserves it after the way Jack treated here, man, even how I treated her to start. Andy does too. He's a good guy; it was just weird with them first dating. Don't get me wrong-I am working on not cringing every time I see him late at night or early in the morning in his pajamas around the house, but it's getting better. It's weird, and it feels like family, I guess. I've not had that feeling to get it until now. We are getting along well, and I meant it when I said it strange to think I was homeless and now have a mom, Andy, and I guess two sisters and two brothers with them," he sighed. "Crazy. What is Andy, though? Like I said, it is weird to tell people he's my stepdad now. That always implies he's replacing a dad, but he's not. He's been the only one I've known," he frowned. "I guess that's what I'm realizing too-he's been like a dad to me for years. What do you call the guy who plays the part when you've never had one before? I'm just not sure."

Joe smiled, "Whatever you call him, I'm sure he's fine with it, and he is what he is to you. You both know your relationship. It will come in time. Remember, you called your mom, Sharon, for a long time, still do. You easily go back and forth with names. Maybe it will be like that for Andy. Whatever you do, I know you won't force it. You called him lieutenant for so long, and again, you sometimes still do. I hear that come out when you seem worried or anxious, not even at him, but at things. It's like a coping mechanism, so don't stress about it. Maybe get around it when introducing him by saying, 'These are my parents,' because as you just pointed out, that's what you are realizing he's been to you."

Rusty nodded, "Look at me, the abandoned street kid with like, real parents and siblings," he chuckled. "I almost look normal."

"Almost?" Joe asked.

Rusty shrugged, "So, yeah, I still have these issues about not wanting to be on my own or live with anyone else. I'm good staying with Mom and Andy; I feel at home. Gus wanted me to move in with him, and we ended up breaking up over it."

"I thought I caught a 'we got back together' in your confession earlier," he said.

Rusty nodded, "Yeah, we did, and I'm glad we did. My not wanting to live with Gus wasn't anything about him or our relationship; it was about me. I am not ready to leave. I'm in school, and Mom and Andy pay for just about everything I have. I will never be able to repay them."

"Rusty, you know they don't expect repayment, right? Neither one of them do," he added.

"I guess I know that, but I still feel that I owe them. I couldn't explain that to Gus at first, but Mom gave me some advice, and I finally spoke to Gus. He gets it; he doesn't necessarily like it, but he gets it. He's okay knowing that, so yeah, I almost feel normal. I can't get past that feeling of having to be on my own. I didn't like living on the streets, doing what I did, and I just want to be at home still. They both accept me at home and take care of anything I need, no questions asked, and for now, I need that. In time, I hope that I will be ready to move out, even move in with Gus. I want a future with him in it. I just am not ready. Now, I feel like my mom. She was always saying she wasn't dating Andy when she was, and I think she needed time to process it. I guess I need time to process things with Gus and the idea of a future with him, out of the condo."

"It sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking and even some talking to others about your feelings. Those are all good things. The important thing it to keep talking to people, especially those you love, and from where we started long ago, you have a string of people in your life now who deeply love you, even if you don't want to hear it," he smiled. "Why don't we move to the chess board before our session is up, and you can tell me all about this law school stuff," Joe suggested. Rusty nodded, a small smile, as he stood to follow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the final chapter...just some reflection from Rusty in this story, no craziness. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

"So, now," Joe said, as he moved a chess piece, "tell me about this law school plan," he said to Rusty.

Rusty looked at him before he looked down at the chess board, "Well, I've been thinking about journalism for a long time as you know. I do really enjoy it, but I don't feel like I can help people the way I want."

"And, how do you want to help people?" Joe asked, watching Rusty's move and looking to his side of the board, contemplating his next move.

Rusty shrugged, "I'm still figuring that out, but I want to be their advocate, more than I could be doing stories on people. That was reporting, giving information, but I actually want to help them, make a difference for them. I'm realizing that so many people have stepped in and helped me along the way in my life-Mom, Andy, Buzz, Provenza, really the whole team, but those people in particular went way above and beyond for me. Where would I be without Buzz's tutoring? Provenza-he saved me a few times when I was close or in a sticky situation that I didn't want to talk to Sharon about. I have already talked about Mom and Andy-you know they've done a lot for me. None of them asked for anything in return. I know it's a bit different as a lawyer; I mean, I do have to earn a living, but I see it as a way to make a difference for families, even put families together."

"You realize that it's not always that simple, and sometimes, even as a family lawyer, you don't put families together. Sometimes, they seem to fall apart on you," he said as he moved his piece again. Rusty frowned, noting he didn't like where Joe had moved.

"Yeah, I know it's not all going to be unicorns and puppies every day, but I hope the good days will outweigh the bad ones," Rusty stated.

Joe nodded, "I think that type of attitude bodes well for any career you pick. It's not always a good day at work, wherever you work. The important thing is to pick something you enjoy and satisfies what you want in life. If you want to help people, this, choosing law, is one way to do it."

"So, you are interning right now?" Joe asked, and he chuckled as he continued, "I thought I caught that as you were explaining the last several months."

Rusty nodded, as he gave a small grin, "Yeah, sorry about that. It probably sounded like I was having a panic attack trying to get everything out of my head. I'm interning at the DA's office right now."

"How's it going?" Joe asked.

"Interesting, most days," he said, moving a piece and taking one of Joe's. "I'm so new at this, and I can tell already it's a steep learning curve. It kind of blows my mind how much there is to know. I've watched her do deals on a few cases, and wow, she can see things I can't right now. Mom is the same way, and it blows my mind. I wonder if I'll ever get to that," he sighed.

"Well, she does a different type of law. What Andrea is doing is much different than family law," he admitted.

"Yeah, I guess. I am enjoying it, but I would like to find a family attorney to shadow or intern with in the future. I was afraid mom would freak out when I told her I wanted to be a lawyer-you know, she hasn't had a good history with them, well, one in particular, Jack, but she's been supportive."

"So, law school?" he asked. "She's okay with that?"

Rusty nodded, "Yup, I sat down with both of them at home, explaining my plans. Mom said whatever I wanted to do, she would cover the costs, make sure school happened, so now, it just on me to finish at UCLA, find a law school, jump through all the hoops of tests and applications, and get in."

"You make it sound a lot easier than I know you know it is," Joe smiled. "I know firsthand that graduate degrees are a great accomplishment, but they come with a lot of headache, and sometimes, the path to them isn't as easy as we like. Now, that doesn't mean we don't pursue them, but it can be a process. You've got a good head on your shoulders, so I am sure you will make good decisions along the way," Joe explained.

Rusty nodded, as he thought, "I think it's the right decision, law school, and I think Gus is the right decision."

Joe nodded too, "Well, no one can tell you that; you have to figure that out for yourself because ultimately, you will be living that life. I'll leave you with a few questions-Are you living the life you want to live? What drives you toward this life? Are you in pursuit of something you really want, or are you trying to prove something to all those, as you stated, helped you along the way? Now, there's no right or wrong answer to these questions, but just something for you to consider."

"Thanks," Rusty said, nodding, as he winced when Joe smiled up at him.

"Check mate," Joe grinned. "And, Rusty, I want you to know that I'm proud of you too. Yes, I know, I sit here and listen, but I am proud of what you have become and will become. Now, we didn't' address everything you threw at me," he smiled, "but all that will come in time."

Rusty stood, grabbing his bag, "Thanks, Dr. Joe. I'm just glad you are still around so I can talk to you. I can't imagine starting over with another therapist, explaining all that, and then on top of it, explaining that my therapist had been gunned down in court," he smiled at his joke. "I'll see you the next session," he nodded and then left. A lot of reflection could take place in an hour, and yet, an hour was barely enough time to scratch the surface.


End file.
